7 MUMMIES

A minibus transporting seven criminals to a prison along deserted roads has a sudden accident: the six delinquents free themselves, kill a guard, and take another hostage. Intent on reaching the nearby Mexican border to finally find freedom, the six criminals set off. Along the way, they find a medallion in the sand and encounter an Indian who offers them water and food, and, noticing the medallion, tells the group of convicts that there is an ancient legend around there, according to which, in those parts there is a city built on an immense treasure, guarded by seven Jesuit friars condemned to eternal damnation: only that medallion is able to lead them to the treasure. The six fugitives, partly skeptical, partly taken by greed, decide to go in search of the treasure. Starting from an interesting idea and a setting that openly flows into the western, Nick Quested has managed to build a bad horror, made in a pedestrian way in all respects. "7 Mummies" appears from the initial prologue as a real western, with dusty ghost towns subjected to a despotic sheriff, saloons populated by beautiful ladies and inveterate poker players; but this so retro atmosphere, according to the premises, could have served as the backdrop to a very enjoyable film, is completely destroyed by a total incompetence in the management of any element that has anything to do with what is cinema. The screenplay does not exploit the story on which it is based, but rather tends to make even the simplest passage confusing, sprinkling everything with very evident narrative holes. Nick Quested's direction is amateur and one can notice a total inability in the direction of the actors and in the construction of choreographies for the frequent action scenes, which appear confused and terribly boring. The acting department is composed of a series of character actors in genre cinema, here surely wasted; we can nevertheless find Danny Trejo ("From Dusk Till Dawn") in the role of the Indian, Andreij Bryniarski (the remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "The Curse of El Carro") in the role of the criminal Blade, Billy Drago ("Tremors 4") in the role of the evil sheriff. Even the music is not saved, annoying metal pieces that have little to do with the western atmosphere of the film, and the make-up of the mummies, which appear as anonymous skeletons in friar's robes that perform pathetic kung-fu fights. Moreover, it is embarrassing and totally gratuitous the sequence that proposes a homage (or useless plagiarism) from "From Dusk Till Dawn": the protagonists are attacked in the saloon by the owners of the place (bartender, customers, and prostitutes) inexplicably turned into cannibal zombies. Naturally, the long sequence has no rhythm and there are not even minimal doses of blood to make it at least fun. "7 Mummies" is a totally wrong product, which could have had solid possibilities of being a good film if only it had been entrusted to a team of competent artists, but the result obtained is really pathetic.