RÉSURRECTION

Look, I hate cops as much as the next guy, but the ineptitude of every single policeman in this film is just so infuriating. Resurrection could probably have been interesting, the logline certainly made it sound like it was going to be, but it was so surface level. Honestly the motivation that's in the descriptor for this movie was so easy to miss I'm not sure that they really explored it at all. I know Se7en was popular and all, but people didn't like that movie just because it had a murder tableau, it actually had good story and characters in it too. Resurrection does not.

Final rating:★★ - Had some things that appeal to me, but a poor finished product.

Resurrection is a Se7en clone (complete with your standard copious rain) with no brains but lotsa guts. Instead of the seven deadly sins, the killer targets people named after apostles — five (5) apostles to be exact; I guess the full dozen would have taken too long a time.

Additionally, the villain harvests different body parts from his victims in order to “rebuild the boy of Christ.” Rebuild? Jesus was crucified, not hanged, drawn and quartered; why would his body need rebuilding? (now, if it were any of the Forty Martyrs of England and Wales, that’d be another story).

About halfway through the movie, the killer sends Det. John Prudhomme (Christopher Lambert) a tape; part of it is broadcast on the news, and some lady living in an apartment building recognizes the voice as belonging to one of her neighbors, who “seems like a very nice guy, but I bet a lot of those serial killers are like that.”

In a twist that would be clever if it weren’t so stupid, the neighbor turns out to be a blind man whom the real killer paid to make the tape. Really. So, according to this dumb broad, “a lot of those serial killers” are "nice guys", and blind? Maybe she thought he was just pretending, but either way isn’t this the kind of detail that might strike a witness as odd enough to at least, you know, mention it to the police?

All this nonsense will eventually pay off, however; patient viewers will be rewarded with one of the sickest, most blasphemous visuals visuals ever to grace a horror film, followed by one of the silliest. The former occurs when the almost finished FrankenChrist is unveiled.

I say ‘almost finished’ because, for some reason, the killer needs the heart of a baby born after midnight on Easter to a woman named Mary. Everybody got that? Good. Let me see if I can get this straight. The bad guy wants to “rebuild” the body of Christ on time for Resurrection Sunday — implying, like everything else, an adult JC — but he’s going to give it a Baby Jesus heart?

This is all madness and no method, but it leads to the second unforgettable (though for very different reasons) image: the killer holding a rubber baby, threatening to drop it from the hospital roof, and Lambert (who in real life can't see a thing without his glasses) catching it in midair.