JOLLY ROGER: MASSACRE AT CUTTER'S COVE

Six idiots, about to celebrate during a nighttime party on the beach, discover an old chest washed ashore after a violent storm. They open it and, in doing so, awaken the spirit of an old pirate known as Jolly Roger. The pirate, quite angry, begins to wander through the coastal village beheading all the descendants of those who, centuries ago, had betrayed him by abandoning his ship. Readers are advised that the film in question is another product distributed by the now-famous EP (Enrico Pinocci), a distributor that delights us in the home video market with films of really very low quality. This premise is only so that, if you are in a hurry and do not have much time to read the entire article, you can know in advance the direction this review will take… a direction that will certainly not be about positive and enchanting comments. After the necessary premises, let's come to our "Jolly Roger". It is a mediocre film, bordering on indecency, released in 2005 and which, inexplicably, managed to obtain, in its home country, even a theatrical release (here, instead, it only received a miserable home video distribution); this can only leave us perplexed because "Jolly Roger" turns out to be a highly mediocre film, even if only related to the products that normally come out solely for home video commerce. Therefore, that the film reaches abysmal levels is already understood, but what needs to be analyzed and highlighted are the various and deep flaws in which this film excels. Everything in this film is highly wrong and out of place, to the point that the viewer will have edited to think and doubt, on several occasions, that the film they are watching is nothing more than a bland parody of the horror genre; but the truth is only one: it is a pathetic film, rich in comedy and involuntary demeness! The basic subject is at best shameful because it does nothing but copy, left and right, from films of a certain caliber (horror and non-horror) like the beautiful "The Fog" by John Carpenter or "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" by Gore Verbinski; but it is the highly repulsive screenplay that gives rise to the real missteps that puts into action sequences at the limit of the bearable, forced and out-of-place passages (see the scene where the two boys escape, without any valid reason, from the police station), banal and unintentionally hilarious dialogues (see the various conversations between the policeman and the doctor) that include things of this kind: a girl was killed with a stick stuck in the eye and the policeman asks "What weapon did the murderer use?". The characters, then, are something indescribable because all equipped with a non-existent personality (in certain circumstances, even a maxi stereotype would have been more welcome); but the thing that really makes you drop your arms is the figure of the murderous pirate, Jolly Roger, who seems to be in competition with the kids to see who is more demented. Not even the bad Italian dubbing helps him because the voice of the pirate is that of Pietro Ubaldi (famous dubber of cartoons and also the Italian voice of Captain Barbossa, protagonist of the Disney series dedicated to Pirates of the Caribbean) who certainly does not do justice to the character. For the rest, we have scene errors dictated by distraction and ignorance; a direction, entrusted to Gary Jones ("Spiders", "Crocodile 2"), very flat and television-like; a makeup quite poor and an ending at best laughable. The only positive note is the presence of abundant splatter scenes (most of which are realized through the use of digital effects) some of which are sufficiently tasty. In conclusion, "Jolly Roger" is really a film to avoid and in perfect Pinocci style (for those who have had the opportunity to know the products he uses to distribute), perhaps it is not among the worst he has distributed (because at least you laugh… involuntarily) but it remains a film to flunk.